Happy Birthday

On a side note, today is Tedra's first birthday.

I almost forgot.

I hadn't even thought about it, until my Temas de la Vida del Mexico Contemporaneo course. We have been learning about the role of women in Mexico (an utterly fascinating topic) and today's discussion was focused upon abortions. Not an all-together savory topic to begin with, but made so much worse by my self-reflections.

As someone who has suffered the loss of a child, how could I not help but think about it while I was being confronted with real-life accounts of abortion, miscarriage, disease, and death?

Then I remembered, today would be her first birthday. I didn't even celebrate.

It made me really really sad, but not as sad as I expected to be. It still hurts, but not in the same way it used to. I don't even think about that frequently, except when I come across some absolutely adorable child being completely carefree and wonderful. In those private moments I always take a moment to reflect on what I lost.

One year old. I can't believe time has passed so quickly already. It feels like yesterday. But at the same time, it doesn't. I remember clearly every detail, still. Before, during, and especially after. I think back to where I was physically, emotionally, and mentally one year ago... and in some ways it is as if a lifetime has passed.

I guess because a lifetime has passed.

To Tedra:

I love you with all of my heart. Forever and ever.

Gone, but never forgotten.

Te amo baby.